Age-schmage -by Chrys.

Posted: September 19th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Life & Travels | 3 Comments »

The most powerful thing about traveling¬† is that I left all that was familiar and the things I am supposed to do, the things I am expected to do,and these expectations are beginning to roll off my back like droplets of water. But with travel an other new set of expectations saddle up. One is of course, presumed to be free, right? you no longer have to go to work (not that I really had a job) at 9 or check the mail, but now you have to seize the day where ever that may be, by going to every ancient site, museum, village, mountain, “you have to go here and here and have you been here yet, oh you have to go”. As a passerby, you feel like your journey isn’t as rich unless you have seen absolutely everything.

Here is where I have to be honest. Nothing I have seen has changed my life. For me right now in this place, traveling has become about about being away from the familiar.

The most profound thing I learned in Antalya, was when I accidentally ended up in a Buddist-like “yoga” center in a room full of less than athletic looking people, who I figured out had not tried touching their toes since gym class thirty years ago, this wasn’t yoga as I had imagined. We were doing a mediation exercise, or I was giving off the appearance like I understood a word of the Turkish instruction. Relax, relax, I told myself and it flashed “age doesn’t matter”. I sat in awe.

I argue profound, you say really? Yes, listen to me. Age is this abstract calculation, this small math equation by which we have a specific measurement and put outselves on a scale and have a relationship to every other human based on this number- our age. However, along with this mathmatical scale, many other societal scales are formed and even if we are unaware we submit to these classifications. There are set ages and decades in which we are expected to acheive certain tasks and though it is unspoken there are sort of rules to follow as well. Some things if completed to early, like having childen, you are looked down upon, and others, if acheived too late, like finding a good career, also put you in a bad societal position. It is a difficult game, and I guess that’s a reason why we left. Trying to play the game is hard, and winning isn’t even fulfilling.

Well, well….once this little sentence popped in my head I felt a new sense of freedom. AHHHHH…ok, I’m not a failure of a 25 year old, without a job, with debt, living off Luke’s savings, I am a 14 year old girl in my heart, some days 6 though., always one or the other! As if life can been lived on an objective scale where all people are measured by the same stick. Suddenly, I am a bird flying. I am in a drawing class, because I’ve always felt like an artist had images in my head without a means of expression. I’m not too old and my brain is still capable of learning and transforming. I am singing, not because I have talent, but because it makes my heart beat stronger and I can feel the blood cycling through my webbed veins, the world get a little bit clearer when I sing. And I write, because I am an interesting person to have a conversation with and sometimes my brain needs a bit of prompting to materialize those ideas. I am active, not because I don’t want to be fat, but because I can really do what I want when I have energy. I have to ask myself everyday, in the quiet morning, “what do you really want to do today?” This is really my life, what do I want to do, I can do whatever I really want.

Goodbye. The ocean is waiting.